


More than enough for me, but maybe not enough for you

by SleepyOceanGirl



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Sad Phil, Short One Shot, good boyfriend Dan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-29
Updated: 2018-01-29
Packaged: 2019-03-11 03:42:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13515870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SleepyOceanGirl/pseuds/SleepyOceanGirl
Summary: Phil thinks Dan is too pretty, and Dan thinks that's the dumbest thing he's ever heard.





	More than enough for me, but maybe not enough for you

“Do you ever think maybe we should break up?”

Phil’s question hung in the air, amidst Dan’s stunned silence. 

_ Break up? Phil wanted to break up? _

It took longer than a few minutes for Dan to regain his ability to speak. Phil sat up quietly, eyes trained on the ground.  Dan wasn’t sure where this was coming from. Phil had never, not since they’d known each other, expressed a desire to  _ break up _ . Maybe in 2012, it could have been a thought he might have had, but even then neither of them dared to say it out loud. Not even when they were at their worst. Saying it now sounded almost forbidden to Dan. It  _ was  _ forbidden. There was no Dan without Phil. There was no Phil without Dan. It wasn’t how they operated. 

So why was Phil saying it?

Dan breathed, wide eyes focused on nothing but Phil, who was still not meeting his gaze. It was worrying, to say the least. They’d been watching an episode of Bake Off, now nothing but muffled noise in the background, and Phil’s head was tucked softly into his lap, Dan’s fingers gently weaving through the silky strands. Dan had  _ thought  _ that they were having a nice, relaxing night. Phil, apparently, had thought something else. 

Dan didn’t hide his disbelief, “ _ Why? _ ” 

One word was all it took before the first tear fell. Dan still wasn’t sure what was happening, but it didn’t stop him from winding his long arms around his boyfriend, and pulling him tightly against him. Phil was trembling, just the tiniest amount, but Dan could feel it. Felt it like an earthquake, wracking his entire body. 

Phil wasn’t sobbing. Phil didn’t sob, only when they got into huge fights (which hadn’t happened in so long that it was hard to even remember what it was like) but every tear that fell and soaked into Dan’s t-shirt felt like one thing Dan had done wrong and was desperate to fix.

He held Phil as he cried, continuing his gentle sweep of his hair and beginning a soft hum in attempt to remind Phil that he was there. And that he always would be. 

Phil didn’t calm down for a really long time. The episode of Bake Off had finished and their TV had gone dark by the time he was composed enough to speak. 

“I just… don’t you ever think you’re too good for me?”

This time the response was immediate, “Too good for you? Phil where is this coming from?” Dan didn’t even try to pretend like he wasn’t insulted, “Too good for you?  _ You’re  _ too good for  _ me,  _ Phil.”

“No, Dan, I’m not.” Phil sniffed. “Have you seen yourself? Have  _ you  _ seen  _ me _ ?” He removed himself from Dan’s arms, and Dan felt himself shiver at the instant chill that came with losing Phil’s body warmth. He couldn’t live without him. 

“Phil where is this coming from?” Dan’s brow furrowed, “Did something happen?”

Phil was quiet, and Dan knew he was right. 

He sighed. “Phil, tell me what happened.”

Phil was quiet for a long moment.

“Well,” Dan prompted, eyebrow raised “Come on, out with it.”

“When we were at the shop the other day…” He trailed, keeping his eyes over Dan’s shoulder, rather than looking at Dan. 

“When we were at the shop the other day what?”

“Do you remember when we were younger, back when we’d first met, how every time I introduced you to someone, a lot of them hardly acknowledged you, and if they did it was more to be nice than to treat you as if you were permanent? A fixture in my life?”

Dan did remember. Most of the time, when Phil introduced him, whoever it was would rake their eyes over Dan, look at Phil like he was crazy, and give a polite “hello” before turning back to whatever they were doing. The only people who had ever treated him with any sort of welcome, or like they knew he’d stick around for a while, was Phil’s parents. They had hugged him, and told him how happy they were to have him as a part of the family. Back then, no one knew that they were _ together,  _ but Dan had sensed that even then Phil’s parents knew what was going on. It wasn’t like they were shocked three months later when Phil told them that he and Dan were little more than “just friends.” 

But Phil’s university friends, and even his own brother, had treated Dan like he was temporary. None of them had done their best to make Dan feel particularly like he belonged there. With them.  _ With Phil.  _

But Dan had thought it was because he was young, not like disgustingly so, but he and Phil had four years of difference between them. Dan was barely an adult, while Phil had just finished getting a degree. It had been a lot, and unbelievably hard to explain to people that  _ yes  _ Phil was everything he had always wanted. Most of his family had thought he was just being young, and dumb, and that he’d get it out of his system. He figured that that’s what had happened with Phil’s, too. 

But the way Phil was talking, and shaking, and not meeting Dan’s eye, made him feel like maybe that wasn’t the whole truth. 

“I remember, Phil, but I don’t understand what -”

“They thought it was because you’d leave. Because I wasn’t good enough, or attractive enough for you.” Phil breathed out, rushing through it like he didn’t want to say it at all. He probably didn’t. Dan knew a lot about Phil’s insecurities, they’d had more discussions about these things than Dan could remember, but it hadn’t once ever deterred Phil from his love for Dan, and it didn’t change the fact that Dan adored everything Phil did. 

So why now?

“Okay,” Dan started, “but what does the shop have to do with it?”

Phil fidgeted. “There were some girls behind us, and…”

“Phil,” Dan slid closer, grasping Phil’s hand in his, “you’re seriously going to tell me that some  _ girls _ , probably teenagers, in a shop, made you feel like you’re not enough for me?”

“I know by now to ignore things that I hear or read on the internet, but I just… sometimes it’s hard to do that.” Phil shifted again, cheeks going red from embarrassment, “And I was on tumblr the other day, just  _ looking  _ at stuff, and I read a thing about how -” he stopped, taking a deep breath, “ - how we can’t be together because you’re… too pretty for me.”

Dan let out a loud snort, unable to contain it, even if he wanted to. 

Phil looked more embarrassed, if that was even possible. He started chewing on his lower lip, and Dan followed the motion with his eyes, still holding Phil’s hands in his own. 

“It’s just that you’ve been doing those exercises and stuff now, and I’m really proud of you for it!” Phil rushed, “It’s just that… you look so much better, not that you didn’t look good before, I mean, but you’re hair is all curly, and you’ve got muscles, Dan!” He squeezed Dan’s bicep with his free hand, “ _ Muscles. _ ” He finally met Dan’s eyes, “And if some hunky dudebro wants to steal you away from me and be fit together, how can I compete with that, Dan?” Blue eyes shimmered with unshed tears, and Dan felt his heart constrict, “How can I be good enough for you?”

Dan didn’t waste time pulling Phil (basically) into his lap. Phil had started his silent crying again, and Dan couldn’t handle it. Every now and then, Phil got like this, not usually this bad, but enough that Dan knew what to do to get him to calm down. 

Phil needed reassurance, and Dan found that that was absolutely something he could give to him. 

Dan pulled Phil back and held his face in his hands so that he’d have to look at him while he spoke. 

“Phil, you have been, and always will be, enough for me. It doesn’t matter what anyone thought before, or what you heard in a shop, or read on the internet. No  _ dudebro _ , as you so eloquently put it, is going to steal me away from you.  _ No one  _ is going to steal me away from you, okay?” He swiped a thumb over Phil’s cheek, wiping away a stray tear, “I love you.”

Phil sniffed. “I know, and I know this whole thing is stupid, I just -”

“I love you.” Dan repeated, as he placed a gentle kiss to right Phil’s cheek, “I love you.” And one to his left, “I love you.” and a string of “I love you’s” as he trailed kisses along his jaw and finally up to his lips. 

Phil sighed. 

“And,” Dan moved back slightly so he could speak, their mouths moving against each other with every whisper, “you know the best part of me being a total beefcake now?”

Phil let out a quiet snort, “What?”

“I can finally carry my boyfriend to our bedroom.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is short and took me twenty minutes to write, but I love it all the same!  
> Come visit me [here](https://sleepyoceangirl.tumblr.com/)


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